I messaged Ros the next day. I told her about the nipple pain.

She suggested that we change breastfeeding positions.

When feeding, we were always in cradle: Lucas in my lap, on a pillow. So for a whole month, my nipples had been getting squeezed in the same places. By then they were cracked, and still getting squeezed in the same places.

I guessed that by changing positions, the nipples would get relief, because they would be going into the baby’s mouth differently.

So we tried side-lying. Ros said that was a good position, because it also lets me rest. We set up pillows, put a waterproof mat and a towel on the bed. I lay down, and Oneal put Lucas beside me.

True enough, it was less painful. Though I couldn’t see how I could fall asleep, with Lucas still sucking at my breast.

Ros also suggested air-drying my breasts. So every time I fed Lucas, I was shirtless, remaining so for about half an hour after feeding, just to let my wounded nipples air out. Sometimes I dreaded carrying Lucas, for fear of his legs or arms snagging on my painful nipples. 

Can you imagine being afraid of your own child?