I want my body back.

Soon after we came home from the hospital, I checked the Google Play Store for postnatal exercise apps. I installed two: FitMama Lite 5 Minute Workouts and WellMama Postnatal Yoga Lite. (I’m a cheapskate, so I only installed the free apps.)

Of course I had completely unrealistic expectations. I figured, as soon as I was six weeks postpartum, I’d start working out. Obviously I did not realize that a whole day would go by without my even thinking of exercise, because I would be busy with, oh you know, taking care of my child.

But everything I read about postnatal exercise said walking was fine. So in late December, we started taking morning walks to the village park. Sunshine for both of us, exercise for me!

Unfortunately, January has proven to be quite cold. Sometimes it was overcast, sometimes it was windy. So we didn’t get to visit the park every day. Sometimes Oneal was able to come home from work early, and the sun would come out in the afternoon, so the three of us would be able to go to the park.

After a month or so of these walks, I figured it was time to start exercising again.

It’s not that I feel fat. I don’t actually feel fat. My problem is that I feel physically weak.

I wasn’t an outdoorsy kid. That wasn’t really possible while I was growing up in the Middle East. But in college I took up swimming, basketball and weight lifting for my PE classes, and I found out that I enjoyed the exercise. I enjoyed pushing myself, working this body. 

When I started working, I tried different workouts: swimming, wall climbing, going to the gym. Throughout our relationship, Oneal and I tried different workouts and sports too: arnis, yoga, pilates. I’ve never been exceptionally fit, but working out helped me feel capable, strong and healthy. 

Obviously I have not done a lot of exercise since we found out I was pregnant, in April last year. I walked a lot, and did some yoga, but that was it. Throughout the pregnancy, it was mostly, “rest!” and “put your feet up.”

Now, I’m two months postpartum, and quite impatient with my physical weakness. 

So I started working out this week. I figured, we’ve been walking almost daily, so maybe I can level up? I tried a 5-minute workout on Wednesday, and a 10-minute workout on Friday.

I picked the ones that strengthen my middle, because my back gets tired when I carry Lucas. The exercises I picked also work the arms, which is great, because my arms also need a lot of work!

Those quick workouts were ideal. No props required, and they’re super easy!

Then on Saturday, I decided to try jogging. That was a bad idea. Though I jogged a very short distance, and I kept a very easy pace, I got dizzy and hungry when we got home, and I got a headache and a mild fever.

So I guess I’m sticking to the 5- and 10-minute workouts for now.

Also, I should probably take it easy on the junk food.

Wish me luck as I rebuild my strength!