Six weeks we were without a yaya.

Our yaya left abruptly in May, so we had to adapt. On most days I stayed home with Lucas. We woke up, fed, changed his diaper. We would go down for breakfast. Dad would play with him while Oneal and I ate. Then Oneal would leave for work.

Lucas and I would go to the park, if the weather permitted. On other days, Dad would play with Lucas and I would do laundry. Then we would feed. Then I would make lunch. Dad and I would take turns eating.

After lunch, Dad would take care of the dishes, and I would give Lucas a bath. We fed afterwards, and sometimes Lucas fell asleep. If not, I would park him in his crib, and I would fold clean laundry. If by some miracle, he slept, I would ask Dad to watch him, so I could sneak in some work.

If Lucas wouldn’t sleep, I put him in the carrier and sat at my desk to work. He would get bored, so of course I would have to stand and dance, or play a video or some music to distract him. A few times, he fell asleep this way, napping for as long as two hours. Great for my productivity, but oh my God my body hurt so much afterwards.

We would feed. Then at 5 or 6 pm, I’d hand him over to Dad so I could make dinner.

Oneal would come home. We would have dinner while Dad played with Lucas. We’d go upstairs and give him a bath, and put him to sleep. Then I would go to my office and work some more.

Lather, rinse, repeat. Day in, day out.

Our domestic situation didn’t change the fact that I still had work to do. Once a week I would go to the office, Lucas in tow. The #bestULFteamever would take turns holding him so I could eat, pee, work, attend meetings.

The carrier was such a big help when we were at the office. As we did at home, I would walk around while carrying Lucas, and eventually he would fall asleep, and I would be able to work. One time, he fell asleep for nearly three hours. I was starving! Maia had to buy me lunch, and my shoulders were in such pain. But wow, I got a lot of work done.

Sometimes Dante or Victor would come over to watch him so I could do yoga.

Because of my regular posts about not having a nanny, friends and family offered to help. “Bring him here. It’s been a while since we had a baby to play with,” said Mary Ann. Her house was near my office, so yay!

Oneal and I dropped off Lucas, then I went to work, and managed to get things done without a baby hanging in front of me.

Another time, we left him–and the Pack n Play!–with Jovan in Cubao.

Other friends offered to come to the house: Trish, shortly after arriving from the UK, her sister Lyra, and Mika! I could leave Lucas with them, have a relatively unhurried meal, even–miracle of miracles–take a shower!

It was six weeks of fatigue and exhaustion, most of it now a blur. It took its toll on me. I came close to breaking down.

This whole time, we were on the lookout for a new yaya, making calls and trying to schedule interviews and chasing down candidates. It just added to the plethora of things weighing down on me.

Oneal reminded me that we were in this together, that I didn’t always have to be the one to stay home with Lucas. We rearranged our schedules, usually with the help of Dante and Victor, so we could see movies or I could take a break. Or Lucas and I would hang out with Dante, or Mary Ann and Trish. Or Oneal and Lucas would hang out with my mom and Victor, so I could go out.

It was a struggle, but we made things work. We didn’t have much choice, but we had a lot of help.

And then, in July, Yaya Analyn came to us!