What do you call it, if it’s beyond exhaustion? What do you say when you’re tired of being tired? When lacking sleep and being unable to eat in peace is the status quo? When you can’t even cry or sleep because you’re just too tired?

Is that what it feels to break down?

Ubos na ako. There’s nothing left of me. I feel like everything I have and everything I am has been used up, spent, and there’s nothing left. There are so many things to take care of, and I have no energy left to take care of me.

I would like, just for one day, to worry about nothing, to take care of nobody. I would like sleep uninterrupted by screams of “Meme”. I would like to dawdle over my food, to savor a book along with my coffee, and to not worry about washing the dishes. I would like to linger in the shower, and then to lie in bed without worrying about the time. I would like to throw my clothes on the floor and not worry about laundry.

I would like, just for one day, to be completely alone with myself.