April 10

When you are active almost every day, then you go nearly a week without exercising, it can feel pretty crazy.

I had symptoms for three days, but by Thursday I was feeling fine. By Friday, I was so restless, locked up in here, unable to do much for myself. I found myself longing for movement, stretching my muscles. 

April 9 was a holiday, so after my one meeting that day, I decided that movement was essential to my mental health. I put on my shoes and I started dancing. 

It felt good to move and skip, to shake my hips and wave my arms, to toss my head this way and that. It felt good to work up a sweat, to breathe hard, to feel my heart racing. 

On Saturday, I did the same: after breakfast, I played a Zumba video, and I started moving. It was so much fun, and I was so happy. 

Unfortunately, I completely forgot that I had a board meeting early that afternoon, so after my workout, I panicked as I set up Zoom and tried to make myself presentable. I had agreed to do a quick summary of the previous meeting, and after I did my bit I was shaking. My hands were cold, my blood pressure shot up, and my heart was racing, but not in a good, happy way. 

I did my best to calm down, and I ate while the others talked. I apologized for keeping my camera off, and I turned off my mic as I changed out of my wet clothes. (YES, I MADE SURE MY CAMERA WAS OFF AND COVERED!) I drank a lot of water and I pointed a fan at myself. 

The power of anxiety is amazing and terrifying. 

It wasn’t just the exertion that distressed me, physically. It wasn’t just the hunger. It was also the fact that I had to speak (virtually) in front of people I look up to and admire. It was also the fact that I felt ill-prepared. And I felt like I looked so haggard, unpresentable, unprofessional. 

After that, Oneal said, “No more working out while hungry.” He made me check my blood pressure, my pulse, and my oxygen levels frequently. God bless my husband for always watching out for me and making sure I don’t accidentally kill myself.