I have always wanted children. For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted a child of my own. A husband, not necessarily. But a child, definitely.
Given this preference, I always assumed I would be a single mother, pregnant out of wedlock, raising a child all by myself. I was fine with that.
In 2003, I met Oneal, and to my own surprise, here was a man I wanted to marry! We got married in 2010.
It was in March 2011 when we decided to start trying for a child. I stopped taking my birth control pills, and in May we visited my gynecologist, Dr. Julieta “Jayjay” Germar. She was so excited to meet with me before I even conceived, and she told me to start taking folic acid. She told me, “You could get pregnant right away! Or it could also take time. We’ll see!”
Oneal was so excited for me to conceive. He started reading up on pregnancy and conception. He wanted me to stop drinking coffee, to switch to green tea instead, to have more milk and cereal.
Unfortunately, 2011 was a rather stressful time for us. Oneal’s mom suffered from the resurgence of her cancer. Her health rapidly declined, and she lost weight. She was hospitalized for three weeks.
At the same time, Oneal’s brother was getting married! While we were at the hospital, they were busy with wedding preps, invitations and guest lists, while we also had to think about dresses and suits. We didn’t know how long Mom would be around, so Ron and Ate Hazel decided to have a civil wedding in the hospital. We were all so grateful that Mom was able to be a part of it.
It was mid-September when she passed away.
Even before Mom’s passing, Oneal and I had decided to move to Parañaque. It was a big house, and we were just renting in Pasig anyway. With Mom gone, Dad would be living alone, and we didn’t want that. So we moved our life from one city to another, uprooting our entire lives, and our cats.
It was also the year I turned 30, and to be honest I wasn’t really excited about my birthday that year. I felt like our life had turned upside down. Oneal, my best friend Dante, and my brother Victor schemed with our friends to give me a surprise birthday party, and that was pretty happy.
In retrospect, it was understandable that we didn’t get pregnant that year. We had both gained a lot of weight, and we were undergoing a lot of stress. So many things were changing in our lives.