There were times when I just didn’t want to talk about being pregnant. Sometimes I felt like my child was taking over my life before he was even born, and I felt like I was losing myself.
Sometimes I had thoroughly un-maternal things to say. Sometimes I was stunned and flabbergasted by the things I read about pregnancy and motherhood. Sometimes I was just overwhelmed, and needed to rant. Sometimes I didn’t want to gush over my pregnancy. Sometimes (okay, more than sometimes) I didn’t feel like it was the best time ever. Fairly regularly, I was angry and upset and confused, and if I weren’t pregnant I would have gone out for drinks, but that wasn’t really an option.
That’s when I would talk to my college friends Mary Ann and Trish. They were among the first friends with whom we shared our good news.
I could rely on them to be thoroughly irreverent, sarcastic, sympathetic or punny, as needed. I could rely on them to make pop culture references or crack geeky jokes about my pregnancy and upcoming parenthood. It was a welcome reminder of who I was.
I can also rely on them for distraction. Both women are taking up grad studies now: Trish in the UK, Mary Ann in Ateneo de Manila. Sometimes they rant about their readings, papers, classes, classmates. I don’t know half the texts they mention, but reading their exchanges about a life far different from mine feel like I’m getting an education too!
Now that I have Lucas, I don’t really get to rant to them as often, because honestly I’m too tired or sleepy, haha. But they often ask about him, and tease about the geeky fun we’re all going to have as he grows up, and all the alcohol I’m going to consume when I’m done breastfeeding. And then they resume their discussions about academia, and I hope Lucas grows up to be at least half as smart as his Mean Titas.