Discontent

I suppose everyone is uncomfortable in their own skin from time to time.

A month ago, I felt incredibly restless. I was looking for something new, something drastically different, something else. There were so many things in flux, and I guess I was looking for some semblance of control.

So I chopped off my hair, completely on a whim. For a friend’s wedding, I tried changing my makeup. Because of the changing weather, I tried to adjust my skin care routine. Oh and I got a new phone (This last one was actually a necessity.)

All of these changes were challenging, unsettling. And even if I chose them, I didn’t always think them through, and I was uncomfortable and fidgety.

So now I hate my hair.

Now I’m still trying to recover from bad skincare choices.

And now I hate my new phone’s front-facing camera.

I know all the fidgeting and discomfort is just indicative of other things I’m restless or impatient about, things I can’t control. I know the things I did are palliatives. I can’t really act on the things that are really bothering me, so I’m doing what I can with things I feel I have power over.

Let’s hope I don’t do anything drastic and irreversible.

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