Ten days in

It’s back.

There’s a sick feeling in my stomach. I couldn’t finish my breakfast. It’s hard to breathe. I feel like I’m going to throw up.

I feel helpless and trapped. I don’t even have the energy to be angry or sad. It’s like there’s a chain around my guts and I don’t know how I feel, how I’m supposed to feel.

I don’t want to read any more headlines about whatever new fuckery is going on. I don’t want to see anymore the mediocrity and the audacity of those who should be leading and guiding. I don’t want to be trapped like this anymore.

I don’t have the energy to read through the latest memorandum or House Bill. I don’t have the heart anymore to read about people near and far being unable to acquire the food or medicine or supplies they need. I don’t think I have much anything left.

I don’t think I even have the words.